Got no Game

Just a quick post...this just happened in real time. ***I need to preface it by mentioning that I am highly unstable today...I burst into tears in a dressing room in the mall and I can't stop swearing.***
I was lying on the couch up until about an hour ago feeling sorry for myself and thinking that I should probably grow my nails and then it occurred to me that I am moving this weekend from my own apartment in the city and I have done next to nothing...well I went there today only to throw things around my room. I left it like it had been ransacked by terrorists, but I had a really bad day so I had 2 options:
Option 1. Stay and throw all of my belongings out the window
Option 2. Leave...
I chose the latter.
Anyway, out of guilt and sheer panic I decided to go back to my apartment tonight and pick up some things and put them in my car so I could at least sleep for a little tonight. So I got there, stepped on some glass with my barefoot, bled a little, sweat and then felt a meltdown coming on so I left.
Why the meltdown Nanners? Oh, I don't know, I am moving back to my parents place after living on my own for 5 years in the city...it's my own damn fault. I partied like I was on vacation in Vegas for pretty much the entire time.
Off topic again. Got back to the other condo and me and my sweaty upper lip got into a little bit of a tiff with the concierge because he wouldn't open the god damn garage door to the underground parking. So I started shaking. When I get really mad or nervous I get this twitch in my neck (it's not noticeable but I can feel it so I start acting weird..ie; looking intently at the person to see if they can notice it.)
Finally parked the car, carried a bunch of bags....got into the door in the underground and forgot to lock the car. Back out to the fucking car. So on my way back, the Greek Adonis that God sent to me, came through the door at the same time. I got all tingly in my special spot.
So we are waiting for the elevator and I am totally side glancing him to see what he is doing and he is playing with his phone...so I started playing with mine...awkwardly as I held bags. (He didn't know I was just scrolling the ball of my BlackBerry up and down....looking at absolutely nothing.) C'mon, we all do it.
Out of no where, he turns to me and says..." Did you forget to lock your car earlier...don't you hate that?" He chuckled as angels around him sang and his pearly whites shone at me. Him asking that question means...he saw me struggling with my bags and probably heard me say "Holy motherfucker, I just can't catch a break." Undergrounds tend to echo. Awesome impression.
How do I respond? "Yeah, I hate that." (should have left it there Nanners) I continue, "Cars are really expensive and I would hate to wake up and it was missing." O.M.G. Just shut your mouth already. He just looked at me and nodded.
Finally, what felt like a bloody century, we hopped in the elevator (where I was hoping we would dry hump) but this is the point where I noticed my B.O.... not sure if he picked up on it but that would be just fab.
BUT WAIT. JUST WAIT. Somehow I guess he was listening to a message on his phone but he had it on speakerphone (weird) and I turn to him and say "what's that noise?"
He responds " um uh, a voice. "
At this point I am asking Jesus to make the elevator go lightning speed right up the shaft (haha) to the twelfth floor.
The story has a weak ending because nothing came of it, I just ran/limped out of the elevator hoping to leave behind the scent of a woman...my b.o.
Ladies, I ain't got no game.

Smooches,
Nanners