The Subway

One of the many things which I hate about the subway is how close people stand to you and breathe on the back of your neck with their smelly breathe. Now if I was feeling randy and it happened to be a hot man breathing ever so softly on my neck then maybe I wouldn't care. However, the chances that happening are about the same as me winning back my $4 on Cash for Life ticket.

The one thing that really, really pisses me off about public transportation is that the fact that completely mobile seniors or "golden aged citizens" feel it's a right to have a seat. Nope. We give seniors our seats because we think of our own little grandmas and great aunts who struggle or we sincerely believe that this elderly person is unable to stand so we politely give them our seat. I do it all the time and I see a lot of others do it too. HOWEVER, yesterday, we stop at Bloor station, one of the busier, more crowded stops on route and I see this old woman running (not limping) with a million bags in her hand and she literally shoves her way to the front of the platform so she could hop on and get a seat.

She gets right in front of me and is staring at me suggesting with her eyes that I get up to move. Nope not me. I thought to myself " Hold on saddlebags, you just elbowed a small child in the esophagus and knocked your bags into a lady holding a cup of coffee, you ain't sittin' here grandma." Common courtesy. You just ran bitch, you have the capability to stand and perform martial arts to get your way to the front of the line to get on the train. So she stood there and stared at me and huffed and puffed the whole way home. I just pretended I didn't see her as she rested her Bowrings bag on my foot.

Oh yeah, one other thing, say if there is a row of 3 seats. One person on either side and the middle seat is free...try and remember the circumference of your ass before you try and squeeze in the middle seat. Generally, we are aware of how large or small our body parts are and where they may or may not fit. There was a while when I was knocking things off of tables and not realizing it and it turns out it was my ass, but I got used to it. SO please don't sit on my lap. Have some ass courtesy. The only things that go on my lap are:
1.)male strippers for a lap dance
2.) the crumbs of my food

So screw off and sit somewhere else.
I am not having a very good day so this was written with a hint of anger if you couldn't tell.

Smooches,
Nanners