Mojave Desert

So I was in the Condom Shack on Queen St. today and I am standing in line to buy flavoured condoms which will only expire in my night stand, and the spanish lady in front of me was debating over what size lube she should get. " Chu tink dat dis size is gon e be enaf?" IT WAS 2 LITRES. I remember standing there and thinking "If your vajay jay is as dry as the Mojave Desert, perhaps install a sprinkler system in the bedroom or get a new man. Jesus woman. Stop wasting my time, I need to get my condoms home to practice putting them on bananas."