So yesterday I am at the doctors for a complete physical....I hadn't had one in at least 11 years...yikes....Well let me tell you, besides the metal clamps (ladies you know what I mean) I will go for one every six months...that's the most action I have seen sober in a very long time.
I avoid physicals like the plague because I am afraid of the "did you know that you are growing a third nipple on your back" talk.
In all seriousness, the only reason why I booked one was because I have been reading too much Cosmo and anytime they report some sort of alarming statistic on women or they say "you should really take this up with a physician if it persists" I convince myself that I have whatever disease they are talking about. During yesterday's painfully awkward appointment when my doctor was staring at my cervix, I asked her if she thinks I am infertile, if she sees anything alarming,(amongst the plethora of many other questions that I will not write) then I asked her why she was laughing. You never want someone in your "no no special spot" laughing. She says to me "I am laughing at you...you are a bit of a hypochondriac." I told her that she "probably shouldn't be laughing while in that region, it make patients uncomfortable." I also told her that I am only there because Cosmo told me I should be. At the end of my embarrassingly unnecessary anxiety provoked appointment, she looks at me and told me to stop reading Cosmo.
I can't make any promises but I am definitely just going to look at the pictures from now on. Shows what happens when I actually start reading.
Smooches,
Nanners
1 comment:
Don't feel bad. I go to the doctor all the time. I thought I had blood poisoning from a mosquito bite, I thought I had west nile virus, and I thought I had a brain tumour because my baby finger was numb. But it was just because I wasn't wearing mittens and I have bad circulation.
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