Face & Shoulders

About a month ago, I made the decision to return to my dermatologist after 4 years of dealing with the Rosacea on my face. (He's the one who gave me Botox without me knowing.) Anyway, I was tired of looking like a burn victim or as the nurse so eloquently put this morning, "you looked like someone who had been slapped in the face really really hard." Thanks.

As it turns out, upon further review of my face, my dermotologist has concluded that I don't have Rosacea. I know you are all shitting your pants with anticipation about what my skin condition is. Here's how it went down.

Doc-"Uhhh this isn't Rosacea."
Me-"Ummm, what is it then."
Doc-"Uhhh simply put, you have dandruff of the face."
Me-Insert silence.
Doc "So, just take this cream and rub it on your face and come back in two weeks. Take care."

Amazing. I have facial dandruff. What the fuck is facial dandruff? I leave my appointment and get in my car-Word of advice; no one should hear that they have dandruff of the face and drive alone. The entire way home I found myself unable to scream sing, plagued by my urgent mega-wish that there is an entire closeted community of facial dandruff sufferers...if I could only find them on Google.

I didn't...It gets much worse.

Upon revealing my secret to my girlfriends, I become the butt of jokes. As my BFF stated, "Maybe you could create your own cream...Face & Shoulders." Fucking comedian.

Getting back on track...this morning was my follow up appointment. The crazy redness in my face has subsided for the most part (in case you care). I just look like I am blushing now...nothing unusual. However, my doctor still wants to see if he can get the last of the redness so he prescribes me some pills. I just picked them up.Please look closely at my box below... This was prescribed for my face.

Let me get this straight...not only do I have dandruff of the face, but now apparently according to the description on the box (not in my box), my face has a yeast infection. I actually don't know what to do, other than the obvious...panic.

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