Creepy Scream Singer

Hi. I'm Amanda and I'm a scream singer. Sometimes when I am at the Grammys  in my car , I will purposely drive past my destination and take another lap just so I can scream sing. Pedestrians and passengers think my scream singing is destructive. But I don't care. I can't be stopped. I also pee when I sneeze-this is irrelevant but I feel like sharing is caring.

Getting back on track.

Today was a day when the nice weather and lack of sleep provoked me to scream sing with the windows down. Completely uninhibited. So I drove past my house and up into the area that my brother was working in (he's a landscaper) so I could pay him a visit. As I am driving, the wind was forcing me to choke on my hair and the sun was burning my retinas. Perfect. I spot my brother in the distance. So I lay on my horn and start cat calling him, "Ow Ow Owwwww." Through the screaming I am frantically waving and I manage to pull over in front of him. He's about 40 feet away and he's hesitantly waving back at me but not walking towards my car. So I begin screaming "what's up my brother? What's the good word my man? What is shaaaaakkkkking?" I was just trying to embarass him but as I am typing this now, I am getting the feeling I am a flat out lunatic. And ew. Who cat calls their brother?

So I began to get angry at him as he is still not moving, just blankly staring at me. So I follow up my one-way convo by screaming at him "What the fuck? Why aren't you moving asshole?" (This is how we talk to eachother...I do not speak like this to other people. For realsies.)

Now I am pissed. And then it finally dawned on me...I just assumed this was my brother. I haven't actually done my official Nanner's squint to get my vision in focus.

I squint. It's not my brother. In fact it's literally a giant man-child in a garden. I would say at the max he was ummmm 16? I cannot even imagine what was running through this childs head. It's clear to me now as to why he wasn't walking towards my car...he didn't want to be a 20/20 special. Not only am I a spinster; I am a creepy, creepy, scary woman.

I'll just do the cops a favour and pre-print my own wanted poster. In fact stay tuned for my new blog on my journey to prison..."Nanners in the Slamma."

Nanners.