For most of the women reading this blog, we all know how eyebrows can shape a woman's face. For the most part we care that our eyebrows are groomed and in certain cases...penciled in correctly. All guys have been told by a woman at some point in their life "You have no idea what we go through to look good for you." They actually don't care when we say that...as a man...I wouldn't either. (By the way, I sneeze consecutively when I pluck my left eyebrow and develop cold like symptoms during the activity of plucking. It's quick scary.)
This particular embarassing moment/story is about my eyebrow...so if you are not interested in an aesthetics, then this story probably isn't for you.
Today, as a part of my anti-stress/Mandy's Makeover Madness routine, I went to the gym. I think that we have all seen the women at the gym that wear a shit load of make-up and we think why?
Well, I will be honest I wear powder because of my rosacea and I cannot have people staring at me like I am a burn victim because a)my face is naturally red and b) it becomes even more red once I start working out....so I choose to conceal what I can.
In addition to also wearing powder, I draw in my eyebrows. I do this every single day of my life because my eyebrows are so sparse that I truly look like a mutation if I don't. So there....I wear make-up to the gym.
ANYWAY, now that that is out in the open, this morning I was rushing to get out the door to the gym so I threw on my powder but I was missing my eyebrow pencil. I opted to use one of my new light brown eyeliners to pencil those buggers in instead. So I was all penciled in and ready to go. I bundled up because I don't want anyone to see my body (even in the heat...I would rather sweat) threw on my sunglasses and off I went.
It's fucking hot out. I am sweating by the point I reach the gym. The rims of my sunglasses are rubbing against my newly put on eyebrows and forming beads of sweat but I didn't care.
Upon arrival at the gym I realized that I didn't have a hair elastic. Fuck. I thought "well, it's a sign and I should probably just go home." But the size of my ass in the mirror convinced me to stay. By the way I realize now that having 1.5 million inches of gym, covered in mirrors is a great marketing tactic. You realize how horrible you really look.
As I take off my sunglasses and ask the receptionist "Excuse me. Do you have an elastic I could borrow?" She had a huge smile on her face...and she kept smiling while looking for the elastic. I remember thinking to myself...either this girl gets paid 100k to sit behind this desk and is loving life or she remembers watching me make-out with a local at a bar. She finds the elastic and I run up the stairs to the change room.
Since our gym is under construction they have turned the studio FULL of mirrors (thank god) into our temporary change room. As I went to pull back my hair in the mirror I let out a "Oh Fuck!" As I noticed the colour (shit brown) from my eyebrow had rubbed down the side of my face and under my eyebrow...pretty much everywhere.
SO my conclusion is that yes, the receptionist was in fact laughing at me and it looks like I stuck the left side of my face in dog poo on the side walk.
Note to self. Use only eyebrow pencils for eyebrows and eyeliners for eye lids. It was really nice of that bitch behind the counter to tell me.
1 comment:
A Nanners classic....
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