Truthfully, I haven't found anything mildly amusing in this past month. Thank you to all one of you who read this on a regular basis....I enjoyed your email saying that you miss me.
Don't get me wrong I have attempted to write something many times but the blogs were titled:
1. People that piss me off
2. Why can't I catch a break?
3. Why am I growing hair there?
4. What did I do to deserve this?
5. Things I hate most about life.
Correct me if I am wrong, but if I were you, I would not want to read these dark somewhat humourless blogs.
Anyway, I am writing to tell you that I am alive...still somewhat bitchy and still a head case.
I did want to share with you the events of my morning. I have been awake since 9:30 so approximately 3 hours.
1. First of all I was awake every hour on the hour so that puts me off to a great start.
2. I awake to not only lose my balance and fall into my tall standing fan (thank god there was a pile of clothes there) but on the way down to the ground I caught a glimpse in the mirror of how bad my rosacea was this morning. Seems like Nanners is having a flare up and looks like a burn victim.
3. I was playing around online while eating my breakfast and decided to take a grammar test...I failed. Horribly. My score was 17 incorrect 3 correct. How long have I been forming sentences? It's a miracle I am employed.
4. I realized that instead of loathing in my anger about my grammatical errors, going to the gym would be a good idea. At minute 9:54 on the treadmill my Blackberry (which doubles as my mp3 player) goes flying off the treadmill and into the weight lifting equipment. After everyone finished staring and NOT helping me find the shrapnel from my phone I eventually gathered the pieces and put it back together myself and walked away.
5. I decided to take the route of the elliptical instead for my safety and others. As I got going, (I hadn't been to the gym in a long time) I realized that songs that used to motivate me about love and happiness no longer work. I must have lyrics that consist of the words "bitch" "whore" and other profanities that I choose not to write. This saddens me but it really motivates me. Maybe I will get a "Rot in Hell Kim" Tattoo around my belly button just like Eminem did for his wife.
6. Walking home from the gym, I received a nice text message from a good friend. I was so happy for her that I managed to walk past the bright orange pilons on the sidewalk and I made my way through the wet cement. This only came to my attention when 5 angry Italian construction workers were screaming at me. I quickly jumped off and lucky for me I am home with no food in the fridge for lunch. Awesome.
I will be heading back to bed promptly after my 1pm viewing of Law and Order and Without a Trace on Bravo. There is less danger for me in my bed...unless it's a Friday night.
Smooches,
Nanners
5 comments:
Hey you - Love that you pissed off the Italian construction workers! That's awesome!
I say NO GO for the Rot in Hell Tattoo... however you could borrow Luca's music collection if you're looking for angry music to motivate you. His music scares me to death -- somehow he thinks it's going to be played at the reception - he's sadly mistaken...
Happy Napping! Wish I could take a nap... I hate my job!
Leanne
Good to see a new entry, am always looking forward to the next one! I may be able to gather a good size collection of pissed off at the world music too!
OMG nanners this is so friggin hilarious. like burst-out-laughing-at-your-brilliant-sense-of-humour hilarious.
Miss you and talk soon!!
Meg P.
Meg P, I can just see you at your computer scream laughing but nothing coming out. Gotta love your silent laugh. God I miss you...I know that I haven't been around at all this summer but come winter I should be good to go out in the blistering cold.
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