Oh to Be a Puck Bunny

As a former puck bunny, tonight's showdown between Canada and Germany was nothing short of an orgasm. While the Germans were getting their asses handed to them, I was thinking of asses of my own.

While watching the game and spontaneously cursing, I had flashbacks of traveling to the rink every thursday night with my boobs up to my neck with my winter jacket open just enough to show my guns which resulted in random make outs in closets at rookie parties. I also chuckled (insert evil laugh) when I reflected on glaring at the other puck bunnies in the stands  and of course, participating in Canada's favourite past time-drinking beer. (Well in my case, I think it was Mike's hard lemonade which was pretty much like drinking gasoline, but either way it made me a "sure thing.")

I oozed with Canadian pride as our home and native land crushed the Germans 8-2 and I realized how much I miss men hockey. Which has led me to the decision that if I am still without child, husband and dignity in 2014, I will travel to Russia for the Winter Games to volunteer my services as the team Canada fluffer towel girl.

I always wanted to be a part of the Olympics but my fat ass just didn't know how. It's all clear to me now and I owe it to all puck bunnies across the nation.

Smooches,
Nanners