Could I Have Been An Olympian?

Unfortunately my narcolepsy interfered with Olympic spirit tonight. I awoke in my clothes on my bed (unfortunately alone) during the 3rd period to find Luongo was as tight as me on prom night. Like I, he remained on his knees and deflected most shots by the KGB Russia, helping to lead team Canada in a 7-3 victory over our European neighbours.

I was a goalie once...in field hockey. I sucked and I only did it for the jacket and the free trip to Boston. I would conveniently drag my ass to the field with all my equipment during practice when the team was finishing up their 3rd lap of running. Running-something that caused me a great deal of mental anguish and judging by the size of my ass...it still does. I can't help but wonder-what if I actually ran a lap once in a while? Could I have been an Olympian? What if I watched Cool Runnings a few more times? Could I have been a pro bobsledder? I could be striking endorsement deals with Omega (the fancy watch people) and Ralph Lauren if I just hadn't been born a whiny bitch. As I struggle to find my career path at the moment this thought plagues me. However, the realist inside me acknowledges that I missed my chance and I am one hot dog away from being the next Rita McNeil.

Proudly Canadian,
Nanners

***I want to give a GIANT congratulations to Ms. Shelley-Ann Brown who, as I type, is standing on the podium recieving her silver medal in bobsledding. Her and I went to public school together and this is truly incredible to watch. So proud!!!! Congratulations Shelley!!!***

P.S. Am I the only one who cries like a baby during every medal presentation for Canada? That "I Believe" song tugs at my heart strings.