For my new readers, welcome. For my older readers, can you please post your comments on my blog instead of emailing them to me? I would look a lot more popular.
To welcome my new readers, I thought that by sharing a few quick facts about myself, you would feel more enticed to read my blog if you found me remotely amusing. And also if you are male and find me amusing maybe you could invite me out for an expensive steak dinner and a litre of wine.
I really enjoy lists, so here I go. (In no specific order)
1. My father sounds like Shrek and my mother is straight from Newfoundland...I am destined to be screwed up. Both are scream talkers and I am partly hearing impaired as my friends have told me. (I am still trying to figure out what they are talking about.)
2. Growing up, I was never into playing in the dirt, I was into watching soap operas, Dallas and Murder She Wrote with my mother.
3. When we finally got rid of our Atari computer in high school, I would invite friends over and go into chat rooms and say really dirty things and pretend my name was "Summer" and I was from Miami. (To my friends who know about this, keep your comments to yourself on this one.)
4. I was voted class clown at my high school prom. What was more of a joke was my dress and my hair. I looked like an escort.
5. My hair is naturally a nice shit brown colour.
6. I have an amazing brother who has taken me to get all two of my tattoos...
7. You will never meet someone who enjoys crime shows more than me. My roommate is convinced I would be able to commit the perfect murder.
8. I will publicly admit that I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to guys. Watching me pick up is like watching an episode of Blind Date. (Meaning you feel cheap and violated for even watching)
9. I am an insomniac...the only way I sleep is with a handful of pharmaceuticals or if I black out.
10. I picked up garbage at the Toronto zoo for 3 years during University and then 1 extra one after...that's what my degree got me. While others dry heave at the smell of garbage and gorilla shit, it brings back the sweet memories of summer and my heat rash.
Thanks for reading.
Smooches,
Nanners
4 comments:
and i believe #3 was the point at which my virgin ears were officially corrupted.. ;)
Hey, I'm a new reader. Not some crazy lady or obsessed stalker (hopefully that doesn't disappoint you. ;) ).
Just got your blog link from a friend of a friend of a friend... Both my pal and I think you're brilliantly funny. That's saying a lot. Not much impresses me. :)
Ever considering writing a book?
Thank you so much!! I do enjoy a good stalking so stalk away!
I would love to write about, I am just waiting till I have kids so I can include Chapters on how I have screwed them up.
Thanks for following!
Honestly, thanks for being so funny. I laugh literally out loud every time I read these. We must get together this summer!!!
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