Every Saturday night at 7:59pm, I become aroused at the thought that my favourite show Cops is about to air. Many of my friends make so much fun of me for watching this so called trash but I love it for the following reasons:
1. It makes me appreciate the fact that I have all of my teeth. I fall in love with dental hygiene all over again
2. I love it when they pull over "Johns" for soliciting prostitutes behind the dumpster of 7/11 and it turns out that they were just offering directions to the lost pretty lady with lipstick smeared all over her face.
3. I particularly enjoy the stories of how they have "absolutely no idea how that crack cocaine got in their pockets, their trunk, under their seat, in their glove compartment and let's not forget the rock of crack they have under their tongue....but they have no idea how it got there.
4. I watch it specifically for the shirtless skinny white guy from the deep south trailer park with tattoos ,who runs from the police and hides in the oddest places such as garbage bins, under cars, in trees and bushes while leaving his trail of blood, cigarette ashes, his gun and his clothes in his tracks.
5. I love it when someone commits grand theft auto while drunk so they can visibly be caught swerving all over the road....only to deny that they were drinking.
6 My favourite question is "how many kids do you have?"
7. After a suspect gets in a physical altercation with a Cop he questions why he is hand cuffed.
8. I love the drunk screaming wife shoeless, in the street in her denim cutoffs, with a cigarette in her mouth and her boobs down to her knees wearing a Nascar t-shirt.
9. I love watching Cops and then watching the Canadian version To Serve and Protect and seeing the American police beat the crap and tackle every suspect until they bleed and the Canadian cops just hand out warnings and wish everyone a good night.
10. Last but not least, I love that I have not yet appeared on any episodes.
Night folks,
Nanners
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