Ew. I Hate Today.

I should have known that when my computer crashed this morning that today would suck. So far I managed to chop some of my eyelashes off with a faulty eye lash curler, I smashed an egg all over the fucking floor in the kitchen, I hit something in an underground parking lot because I became distracted by the thought that I am kind of like a "husband fluffer," (around for the fun but never at the altar.) So I got distracted...can you blame me? I never checked to see what or who it was that I hit...I just kept driving...I am sure it's fine. And to top things off, I found an old cheese string at the bottom of my favourite purse. That's really gross and I debated writing about that but it just added fuel to my fire.

But here's the thing that agitated me the most: I had to fake laugh at people's jokes. For some reason, I feel obliged to forcefully laugh out of courtesy at jokes that aren't even remotely funny. I have a standard fake laugh which is eerily high, accompanied by an awkward head tilt and followed by an under the breath "Oh God, that's so funny." 

I feel socially responsible in particular to laugh at old people's jokes. Who knows, that joke could be the very last painstakingly unfunny words they utter. Do I entertain them by laughing or watch as they go down in a blaze of non-comedic glory?