The Littlest, Creepiest Librarian

I typically avoid going to the local library since my incident last summer and the fact that printing on the library's paper has now afforded me the option of only sending one of my future children to University. It's so effing expensive. Did Jesus touch this paper? Was it recycled from the menus of "The Last Supper?" Jesus.

Anyway, this post isn't about the cost of paper (BORING) it's about the creepy 4 foot tall woman that swears she knows me and eerily watches me from her desk everytime I go in there. Before I even go into the library, my heart starts to palpitate in fear that the elf they have employed there is going to touch me inappropriately behind the book shelves.

It was last summer when I was at the library quite a bit doing some research on doing my post-grad studies when I went to check out a movie (Win a Date With Tad Hamilton. Fuck he's hot.) that Tinkerbell struck up a conversation.

Her-"I know you from somewhere."
Me in my head-Tell me I didn't sleep with your husband.
Me for real-"Oh really? I grew up around here."
Her-"Your name is Susan."
Me in my head- Shouldn't you ask me if that's my name and not tell me?
Me for real-"Oh, I'm sorry it's not. You must have the wrong person." (Even then for some reason, I had a funny feeling that this could turn into a scene from Misery with me tied to a bed and her standing over me with a sledge hammer.)
Her-"Yes it is." She stared right through me. Ugh. Gives me shivers.
Me for real-"No. No it's not. My name isn't Susan-it's Amanda."

It went silent as her beady little eyes just looked up at me. I took my movie and ran.
A couple days later, I went back in hopes that she wouldn't be there. Sure enough she was and has been subsequently every time I have gone back. Each time I go back, I see her become slightly aroused that I am there. She gets this odd look on her face and this head tilt as she watches me. (I have exceptional side glancing abilities.)

Tonight, I just went in for a couple minutes to print some things and there she was. The devil-all wrapped up in a little, short weird package staring at me like I just ran over her favourite cat. Ew. Just writing this I am baby barfing in my mouth a little.

So OF COURSE, the computer that I am using isn't able to print my stuff and there are no other computers available.(I had to make this visit short as Intervention was coming on and I started to panic.) Anyway, I frantically looked around to find a librarian that wasn't busy but to my luck and instant horror I saw the anti-christ walking towards me. Game time decision-do I ask her for help and risk winding up dead in the forest by my house? Or do I wait patiently? Patience is not my virtue so out it came-
"Excuse me? Can you help me with my computer?"
She didn't say anything. Nothing. She just stared at me. What the fuck do you do in this situation? SO WEIRD. So I just turned around and walked away-she followed me.
I got back to my desk and sat down and she literally came up behind me and pretty much rested her head on my shoulder. I am talking like she was blowing in my ear.
"Give me the mouse." She whispered. Ahhhhhhh...She's so creepy.
I sat there and didn't move a muscle.

Her garlic breath wafted up my nasal cavity and into head triggering horrible memories of eating pizza after the bar. I thought to myself as her dirty nails gripped the mouse, "Is this going to be the last thing I remember before she jumps out of the glove compartment of my car and smothers me?" God help me.

Before long my pocket sized friend had my problem fixed and THREW my papers at me. I am really not sure what to make of this situation. Should I just tell her my name is Susan to avoid being a 48 Hours Mystery special?