Just before I get started on tonight's blog post about the Bachelor, I need to let you all know that I would participate in unsafe sex with a homeless man for $10 if that meant spending the rest of my life with our yummy single daddy Jason from Seattle.
Quick recap for those who missed last season...basically Deanna Pappas broke Jason's heart...blah, blah, blah. Generally, it's the loser left standing the day of the proposal who gets majorly dissed on national T.V, that ends up getting their own show. Jesus. If that was real life and every time I got rejected I got a show, I would have had a show since the late 80's.
I have to say that my favourite part of the Bachelor is the very first night when they all get out of the limo and most seem like they have all their marbles...FALSE ALARM. The only reason why they seem quasi-normal is because they haven't had much of a chance to open their traps. Just wait until the cocktails get flowing...I would say about 19 out of the 25 women failed the pre-screening psychological testing. Let's use an example: Shannon, the dental hygenist who recited his MY SPACE page to his face and admitted she's a bit of a stalker. RED FLAG. Somehow she still made the cut. I think that's creepy.
The biggest twist of the evening was when the women thought that they were voting their least favourite person in the room before the rose ceremony. Please keep in mind that all 25 of these women are in fear that their ovaries are rotting since they all want to be a mother and a wife in the span of 6 weeks, so the bitches are vicious. Poor Megan, (who by the way left her 14 month old at home to go on the show) received the most votes. Ouch...that definitely tugged on her heart strings.This is the same girl that told Jason that "I like animals more than people." However, the plot thickens...Megan, the least liked transvestite looking contestant, actually ended up getting a rose instead of being voted off...man, life can throw you curve balls. Her reaction was a mini-melt down in terms of melt downs in Bachelor history...just a few tears about how much people hate her.
If you are a religious Bachelor viewer, you will know that the "first impression rose" is the most important rose a girl can get. Tonight's recipient, Tits McGee...I mean Nikki, was more than happy to accept his rose.
The end of the night loser monologues are by far the best. For example, the drunk leopard print dress wearing contestant who had her own monologue with camera and admitted that she had her wedding to Jason planned "with about 40 to 50 guests on the beach." Or my favourite is the "vision board" freak. Okay, whatever helps you get through the day, but cutting a bunch of words out and pasting them on paper, does not mean that you are going to find the love of your life. If that were true then the collage I made of New Kids on the block when I was 12, would have me preggers and married to Donnie Whalberg by now. Keep dreamin' sister.
Well, all in all, not uber disastrous for episode number one...it was pretty tame actually. But stay tuned folks...Deanna comes back to steal Jason away...
Smooches,
Nanners
No comments:
Post a Comment