I personally can't think of any other season that reminds me more of being single than Christmas...oh yeah and New Years...can't forget 11:59pm when you look around the room and everyone is smiling and groping each other and staring lovingly into their partners eyes...I on the other hand am staring directly into my empty glass of vodka...secretly telling everyone to fuck off.
At this years family gathering I was able to dodge the "where is your boyfriend" bullet by telling people that I am "focusing on my career" and hanging out with the guests that ranged in age from 2 to 3 years old. Children tend not to remind you that your eggs are rotting and you "look different" (which we all know is another way to tell you that you have eaten a lot of your feelings since the last time you saw them.)
Santa was good to me...I got my ring from Tiffany's from Momma and Pappa Keen...I only had to send the link for about 56 days straight before they gave in...I got anti-bacterial socks which I was mildly confused and insulted about, make-up of course which you know is my passion and a gorgeous new robe which came undone in front of my father on Christmas morning...I didn't have a shirt on. Unfortunately, the ground did not open up and swallow me at that point, but I managed to continue on with my day with limited eye contact. I have never been more embarrassed. Funny part is, I didn't notice it was open until my father screamed at me in his thick Scottish accent "Close your fucking robe!!!"
Eventually, it was time for my annual Christmas day nap which is induced by eating 15 Ferrero Roches. Every year, I manage to eat my entire stocking (not the fabric, but generally the edible contents) by about 11am. Then I head up stairs, try on clothes that don't fit, put on some of my new make-up, climb into bed and start thinking about New Years.
New Years Eve, is the one night of the year where everyone has hope that the upcoming year will be better than the last...Ummmm I tend to disagree. It's just another night to drink yourself silly, think about how you are the only one not sucking face at midnight and make really bad decisions (No need for detail), and wait approximately 3 hours for a cab.
If it sounds like I am really bitter...ummm well it's because I am. Don't get me wrong, I always have a great time on New Years, and I am a firm believer that New Years and my birthday are the only times a year where anything goes...I am hoping this year it is my clothes that go if you know what I mean...but we will see how the night pans out.
Sorry to those of you who have been asking where I have been, I will try and keep on top of the blog thing...Not really much to write about, single and sexless in the city...I do however, plan to get on the dating bandwagon in 2009...if not to find love, at least to have some juicy horrific date details to share or surprise unplanned pregnancies to make you laugh.
Happy New Year Everyone!
Smooches,
Nanners
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