My Daily Dose of Inspiration

So...As most of you reading this know that I have been going through a rough time since ummmmm January....so my Mom thought that it would be nice to take me on a little trip to some voodoo, spiritual, mind body, soul, organic, pagan, be one with the earth shop today.


As soon as I entered my head started pounding due to the variety of aromas and fucking wind chimes clinging together...that was nice...Just as a question to anyone who may be able to answer this...Do any of you find wind chimes peaceful? Maybe I missed a dose of my meds today, but they sounded like god damn trains running through my head.


Anyway, as time passed I sauntered through the rows of book cases filled with material on "Finding the Light to Your Inner Soul Through the Fine Art of Eating Grapes," "You Too Can do Kama Sutra Even From a Wheel Chair," Blah Blah Blah...


However, there is a point to my story. Inspiration. Eventually after spending half an hour in the joint and chit chatting with the shoeless, sockless cashier, (Ewwwww) I started getting into the whole spiritual thing. I ended up buying some rocks that are supposed to inspire me. Even though I probably could have gotten these rocks from my garden and painted "Follow your dreams" on them for about 10 cents...I thought what the hell throw it on my mothers tab.

So eventually we left the store and feeling inspired to spend less money (since we spent about 1000 bucks on rocks to build my self esteem)...we went to the Mecca of the shopping world...WALMART...It was there that I felt inspired to get a really high paying job and not become one of the customers in the Walmart commercials that borrows her wedding dress from Rita in Electronics.

Eventually feeling uninspired due to the amount of screaming children and baby mamma's I began day dreaming about what was next on my exciting list of adventures with my mother...We saw the light.. the good ol' golden arches....nothing motivates me like a healthy dose of 5000 calories chalk full of lard. So I placed my order for heart attack #4. While eating my meal, I noticed that there was no one in McDonald's under the weight of about 300lbs. I suddenly saw a glimpse of my life of Walmart shopping, coupon clipping, rock buying, elastic pant wearing and fat hanging out of my shirt that is too small for me. I don't want that.

Sooooo...(you're like get to the point already) As I sit here tonight surrounded by my inspirational rocks, I vow to not eat McDonald's for 6 months...not even when I am hung over and not ingest 1 carbohydrate for the next month. No one probably gives a shit but there is something about making your useless information available to the public that holds you accountable if you fall off the wagon.

That whole useless story was my daily dose of inspiration. If you held tight long enough to read this then don't worry, because I have no plans to leave the house tomorrow...nothing to inspire me but the Dr. Phil show.

Peace.